Table number 3

"This dress looks so good on you"

"Pakka?!"

"I can't lie to you baba, pakka sure!"

Table number 3, beach cafe, Banglore. That's where I told you that I've more than feelings for you, your cheeky little eyes took a world tour and at last rested on me. You smiled and said nothing, came up close, grabbed my left hand and kissed me hesitantly.

Your smile travelled miles and your eyes lit up like it was Diwali. Pure child's love, full of energy and passion. 

All I did was hold you much tighter and closed my eyes.

Life is so easy when you move on with time and replay the memories right?

I usually ask myself the same, is this is it or there's some dead end. Is the ride still on or are we just living on a coaster?

Aisle 3, local mall

I picked up this sweet breezy Kurti for you but you weren't there.

You spoke a lot of things, cried a lot and hugged me in end too. you said that it's still unknown what happened but the love's gone.

My heart palpitated, breaths skipped 2 miles and I just stood there with my fist closed in silence.

 

"It's going to be ok, tell me you are ok Kartik"

I said ok like I did the first time. Agreed with whatever you did, stood in silence and closed my eyes.

This glimpse of you trying to climb a hill, you waking up and texting me first, you kissing my upper lip to bite the other one and you talk a lot of nonsense with the most serious tone alive.

I saw you but without you.

How you said so much and it sounded amazing. All the stories of your home, tragic hostel mess, the fight with teachers and you being selected for the editor in chief of your college's magazine.

It's empty now yet half filled. You occupy a blank space without taking any. It's you but not you.

"Kartik, what happened? You ok?"

I came back from the rewind and said nothing.

You stood in silence with your eyes travelling miles, I saw nothing in you. No charm no life.

You stood there with so much love but not for me.

They say it's okay, it's okay that some people are just not meant to be. I ask them what is ok, what is justified.

You dare teach me what is love and never taught me how to unlove someone. You engraved the language in me and made me repeat and practice it all my life.

I see mirrors and I see you but that's a lie.

It's crazy how you can love someone and just simple lie.

It's crazy how your eyes said everything yet they managed to lie.

The same way you fell in the pit is the same way you can escape and fly

Your eyes said that they love, yet they managed to lie.

~